


Stutterstep

by defuse00



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25175473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defuse00/pseuds/defuse00
Summary: Sayaka has never trusted Homura, not in any timeline.  But there are other feelings compatible with distrust, although they are no more positive, or helpful.
Relationships: Akemi Homura/Miki Sayaka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Stutterstep

"Why are you trying to help me?"  
  
Homura isn't exactly surprised to be approached by Sayaka, on her typical rooftop, with a view of Madoka's route home. After Mami's death to the hospital witch, Homura set herself up as Sayaka's teacher. The timeline has been going well and she's hopeful that Sayaka will be stable enough under her guidance to last until Waispernacht. She can at least deal with familiars while Homura focuses on the witch herself.   
  
"I want to defeat Waispernacht," Homura answers, "It would be difficult to do so by myself."  
  
"So why not buddy up with Sakura-san?” Sayaka asks. “She's got more experience. You two would probably get along."  
  
"And leave you to conspire against us?" Homura's eyes look into empty space, "She won't hold a grudge for any perceived betrayal."   
  
"You really think I'd do that?"   
  
"It's possible. I've seen magical girls do all sorts of things that weren't in their own best interests. Even if I thought you weren't, I prefer unpredictable elements remain where I can observe them."   
  
"Unpredictable element," Sayaka repeats, "You don't mince words."   
  
Homura can't remember ever lying to spare someone's feelings. She's lied to blend in with Madoka or achieve goals, but never to be kind. That's what Madoka does.   
  
"Would you prefer false flattery?"   
  
"No. It means that when you say things like 'You don't need that boy', you mean it. Madoka-chan wouldn't say it that clearly."   
  
"Don't criticize her," Homura snaps.  
  
"Geez, alright, alright,” Sayaka placates. “I'm her best friend, but that doesn't mean she's perfect. She's nicer than you, but I don't want nice all the time. The real world is a bit harsh for girls like her."   
  
"I agree."   
  
"Yeah but you want her to be safe because you're obsessed, not to mince words. I want her to be safe because I want to see things like her in the world. Because she's good and I don't want to lose that."   
  
"You certainly are enthusiastic to insult me."   
  
"Because there's something wrong with you, Homura! There's something wrong with watching someone like you watch Madoka-chan. There's something wrong about the way you talk about her and everything. There's something wrong with the way you think, too fast and too slow all at once,” Sayaka rants, suddenly animated. “But I'd rather have whatever fucked-up version of empathy you have than Sakura-san's callous selfishness. And I'd rather not delude myself and end up like Mami-san. So I'm learning from you anyway."  
  
"You won't learn how to be like me from watching."   
  
"Will I? I've already learned how to idealize someone beyond the bounds of sense or realism. But it wasn't who I thought it would be."   
  
"What are you-" Sayaka interrupts her with a kick and a kiss, gripping her hair to keep her in position. Homura jabs a fist into her stomach, which gets the girl's mouth away from hers, but she still has a grip. She pulls a flashbang from her shield and makes sure Sayaka hears it hit the ground, which prompts her to jump back. Homura stops time.   
  
Sayaka is lunging towards the grenade, ready to disable it and continue her assault. The outburst tempts Homura to leave, abandon Sayaka to whatever madness has possessed her, and wait for Waispernacht. But, she came close to a real understanding. Maybe a little more progress and she can have some help, enough to stop Waispernacht.   
  
She jumps to a nearby rooftop and considers whether she should be holding a gun for this conversation. She grabs one of her smaller pistols before resuming time.   
  
Sayaka deals with the grenade with a quick stab and looks over at Homura. "You're such a goddamn tease."   
  
"Explain yourself."   
  
Sayaka shrugs, "What can I say? I spend half my days with you lording over me like some petty queen. You're stronger than me, smarter than me and have more important things to do, but you keep helping me. You save Kyosuke-kun but you tell me I shouldn't date him, you throw Sakura-san out of a window to keep her away from me. I know that Madoka-chan is the only thing you want, but a girl has dreams sometimes."  
  
"I didn't do this to you," Homura deflects. “You did it to yourself.”  
  
"But I learned it from you. Obsession made you like this and you can't teach me how to be like you without teaching me how to feel like you.” Sayaka smirks. “Does it make you uncomfortable?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Liar,” Sayaka accuses, “Do you think Madoka feels any better, with your stare on her at all hours?"   
  
"She doesn't know."   
  
"So you think both of us are stupid, huh? Do you even really know her?"   
  
"Maybe as well as you do. If she feels unsettled as of late," Homura shrugs, "it may have as much to do with me as her best friend's slide into madness."   
  
"So we're both willing to hurt her to get what we want. See, you just keep educating me!” Sayaka laughs. “I'm not any worse than you."   
  
"You aren't lost yet, that's the difference. I expect to see you acting normal tomorrow."   
  
Homura stops time and hops down, making her way for a block or so before resuming time. With any luck, this timeline will recover and she'll at least be able to fight Weisernacht. And won't have to listen to Sayaka's babble. She can't afford to be distracted.   


* * *

Sayaka becomes a witch that night. She does it at school. Homura does not debase herself by wondering about her motive in being there.   
  
She calls in a bomb threat to keep Madoka away from the witch and fights it alone. She doesn't think about the meaning of the pendulums that decorate the labyrinth, nor the fact that this version of the witch uses a shield.   
  
The fight ends inconclusively. She rarely fights Sayaka's final form alone and witches keep the knowledge of the girl they come from. The familiars grab at Homura, keeping her from using a time-stopped attack.   
  
The presence of a difficult witch at the school makes the timeline unsustainable. Homura abandons it, vowing not to rely on Sayaka in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be more positive. Then Sayaka just did that. *shrug* Publishing this anyway.


End file.
